So, my kids have been in their new school for about a month now. They're adjusting, but still wish they could be back at the old one. My 8-year old has been having trouble with a bully - another 8-year old girl. Before seeing her, I had this preconceived idea of what she would look like. Probably much bigger than my super skinny daughter. Or, perhaps there was something that made her "different" from the other kids, so she picks on my kid to divert attention away from herself. But then I saw this girl, she was remarkable normal, cute even.
Anyhow, I digress. It started as a simple, "You're stupid." ("Stupid" being considered the S-word in my house.) More remarks followed.
"You don't wear a bra?! That's gross!" (Did I mention she's EIGHT YEARS OLD?)
"Your teeth are bigger than your mama's butt." (Don't I wish!)
"Your mom's car is ugly, it looks fat." (Change "fat" to "phat" and its not so bad.)
And the absolute worst...
"You have a fat *ss." (Seriously, my daughter is built like a string bean!)
Everyday I listened as my sweet girl told me the latest insults of the day. My initial reaction on the first day was advising my daughter to give it right back. "Tell her its gross to wear a bra when you don't have boobs." By the next morning, I had cleared my head enough to realize this was a great opportunity to teach her about grace and forgiveness. We talked about possible reasons why this girls had chosen to go after her, and decided that our best line of defense would be to counter the insults with compliments. "No matter what she says to you, tell her you like her shirt, or her hair is pretty, or what cool shoes she is wearing."
A few days passed and it seemed nothing would make this girl cease and desist. The compliments didn't deter her, although they did leave her with a look of confusion. Then, one night before dinner, as I was saying our blessing, just before the "Amen", Kenley said, "Mom, don't forget about "Suzie".
Well, how about that? She gets it. She understands that love is the answer, God forgives so why shouldn't we, and most importantly, that praying works.
I was beaming! We prayed that God would change "Suzie's" heart and help her learn to be a nicer person. Those prayers went out Monday night AND Tuesday night.
So today, I'm pulling through the carpool line, and instead of looking for my own kid, I'm watching out for "Suzie". In the past, she has given me these glaring, hateful looks as I drove by. Scary faces to see on a child. So I spot her, but she didn't see me yet. She was distracted by the girl beside her, the one with her arm around "Suzie's" shoulder. Hey, that girls looks like...WAIT...that's MY girl! My jaw hit the floor! Kenley spotted me and ran to jump in the car, grinning from ear to ear. "Wh...wh...but...I thought...how..." Kenley said, "She asked me today if I would be her friend and promised not to be mean to me anymore." "Wow!", I said. "God answered our prayers."
I praised Kenley for her ability to not only forgive this girl for all she had done, but then to become her friend. I told her that's just how God loves us. We do all kinds of things that hurt Him, but He never leaves our side - that's forgiveness. He loves us even though we don't always deserve it - that's grace.
"Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
--Proverbs 22:6
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